I am UK size 20 and wear a G cup. I have always been the ‘curvy’ one and started developing quite early, so I had a lot of attention from older boys at school and even more attention from the older girls. The girls used to make fun of my body, calling me names and helping me to create the narrative in my head that I was 1) fat and 2) unworthy. I stood up for myself on the outside but on the inside, I felt so disgusting. I left school and adopted this new external attitude that I didn’t care what I looked like and tried to play with fashion as much as I could but the reality was that I was putting more weight on - fast - and I felt even worse.
After a few years, I lost quite a lot of weight and met my husband. Shortly after the weight came back but I didn’t care as much. I had everything I wanted… until I was struggling to conceive. Everything was telling me that it was my weight that was the problem so I tried to lose weight but struggled. After a while, I fell pregnant and enjoyed my body for the first time in my life. I ate without judgement, I exercised weekly and enjoyed doing so and for the first time since I was 18, I didn’t feel like I needed to be on a diet!