Why is the contrast so stark?
Why, when I lost weight, was the response so positive and so big that it was almost overwhelming, yet when I put ON weight, the response was… nonexistent?
Part of the reason I continued to feel so much shame around my weight gain was this disparity in the reaction I got from people firstly when I lost weight - everyone was desperate to praise my ‘new’ body and urge me tell them my ‘secrets’ - to when I gained weight… THIS ‘new’ body was met with silence, embarrassed glances and a glaring avoidance of my appearance. I was ashamed to leave the house.
The message is loud and clear - weight loss = good, weight gain = bad.
All of this fuels fatphobia, and keeps us living in a world where we are preoccupied with thinness, prepared to achieve it all costs. Because, as @thebirdspapaya said, ‘external validation is a drug’.
The positive reinforcement you receive from weight loss is addictive, and it keeps you laser-focused on your ‘goal’ - to lose more weight.
We HAVE to stop obsessing over weight loss. It’s so, so important.
See someone has lost weight? You don’t need to tell them. Honestly, you don’t.
Ask them about more important things, like how they are doing.
Their appearance shouldn’t matter. Their weight shouldn’t matter.